You know, people have told me that I’m too sensitive. Can you believe that? Me, sensitive? My pain tolerance is very high to the point that I will smile when pain is afflicted on me. I am not sensitive, I am passionate. Sometimes too much, but we’ve all gotten to that point. I’m passionate in how I feel and yes I can come off a little too strong. Can’t help it sometimes. That’s the fun thing of being an introvert.
Most of you know I can talk-a lot. Especially when I’ve been drinking. I thank my family and heritage for that. But what most of you don’t realize is that I keep a lot to myself. I keep it inside. When it comes to anger, I bottle-neck it. When it comes to emotion, I bury it. When it comes to exposing myself, I turtle shell. I hide. I use humor as a defense mechanism. Always have. I don’t let anyone in anymore.
I hold a lot inside and there have only been a few to sit through it. What I use is music. Music to think, to write, to show myself. I’m great with words, but most of the time, music expresses how I feel. Maybe I hide in a song. Maybe I hide because it’s safe. “We’ve all been sorry, we’ve all been hurt. It’s how we survive. Is what makes us who we are.” That quote is from Rise Against.
But I’m more than that. Yet no one sees.